Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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