We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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