just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
