Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
