OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
