I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
