its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
