just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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