He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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