Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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