I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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