So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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