What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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