His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
