Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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