Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
