I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
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We left an ass print on the piano.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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