The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
