Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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