Porn is love you can see.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
