If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
