i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
