Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
