you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
