Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i believe in u and ur pee
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize