you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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