okay pat passed out under dana's car
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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