The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
