if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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