just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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