I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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