She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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