I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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