Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
