so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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