bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My balls are so social today.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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