I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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