im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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