My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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