someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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