i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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