she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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