Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
