you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
