i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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