New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
