You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
