Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
being pregnant is like rehab
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
