So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
