Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
