I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize