goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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