Duck Duck Cougar?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
