wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
