love makes seman taste better
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
