All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
