Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize